OR 97418
by Eboby
Summary: As the wedding of Wendy Corduroy commences, many make their return to Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel included. However, in the midst of reunions and the ensuing strife, rather than the town they so fondly remembered, they instead find a crumbling small town facade - one which provides perfect opportunity for an old foe to finally exact his revenge. (M, but mostly for language.)
1. Prologue

White. Flowing. High heeled. Shimmering. Ring. Necklace. Earring. Makeup. Her eyes flutter. Her hand reaches. A champagne glass filled with beer. It's shared.

Oh, those two, so newly minted as "together". They laugh.

A laugh which felt like a slap across his pale face.

His ears perked. The sliding door came open. The sound? Like a knife against metal. And it was then that he came upon his decision.

Though there would be a pursuer, rest assured, he was to run. And he _was_ running. And running. runningrunningrunningrunning; _running_. He had ran. Ran so far away, to the point that the titular melody was in his head. But what reason to run? For shame, Dipper! Why?

The girl; nay, _woman_, he must remind himself, was married. A woman he so loved, more, perhaps, than god had supposedly loved man. Though if god were to have loved man, he would not allow such tragedies to befall the domestics. At least, those were his thoughts. The choice was hers, and the winner was neither himself nor that cunt Robbie.

Cunt. That's what he had said to him. I overhead as much; they said so right above me. I didn't know the boy had such language in him, but it was nice to hear. He'd become a fine young man, one who shared the Pines' tradition of smoldering looks (if I do say so myself), with the kind of face that made a lady lift her skirt, or, I suppose, another man drop to his knees.

Then why was he still alone? Why so much obsession over one person? As it stood, she now had what Dipper could never give - reality.

So I will quickly introduce you to the groom: Aleksander was a properly built young man. Muscular, with a neck as thick as a log - not dissimilar from his mind. Honorably discharged from the military, he... No, no. That's wrong. My apologies. He was _dis_honorably discharged for misconduct, though of course he could never let such revealing information fall into the hands of the Corduroy clan. No, he was the all American man, the kind who enjoys sifting through deer guts to find the bullet and a proper cut of meat. He was as white, aryan-in-the-nazi-sense as could be, too. Though this made one wonder what the kids' hair would be; surely Wendy had enough red all over to make up for Aleks' sandy mop.

The idea made Dipper shudder, but it was inevitable. Sure, the Pacific Northwest is a progressive place, but this is small town Oregon, not Portland or Seattle. Real small, actually. In accordance with expectations, as Wendy was 22 and married, by god, she'd pop a few out soon. That was the Gravity Falls way. And of course, _of course_, those rotten fruit would be there to remind Dipper of his failure, or at least, the over posted Facebook baby pictures would.

By now, he stood above all, like the same god who was supposed to so love the world, that was supposed to look over this town as he now did. If only he had the same apocalyptic powers, then maybe it could be redeemed. Alas, he could only stare at the quivering clusterfuck that lie below. It was...

Disgusting. What does it mean, disgusting? He thought of a film. He saw it recently, too. And frankly, this all seemed to play out as one before his eyes, having moved to the state above by this point in his life - every event previous had occurred from afar for him. Of course, he was now face to face with everything, and at that _exact_ moment, it was a panoramic view.

But yes, it was disgusting. Did that mean the situation was? Or that he himself was disgusted? Or, for that matter, that _he_ was disgusting? For whatever it's worth, I felt the same way, despite my position. So did Mabel.

* * *

_Author's Note_: Fuck. One of these. Yeah, well, OK; at least it's after the story, ammirite? No? Whatever. So, really, this is my first attempt at more expressive writing. I didn't really want to go traditional third person or traditional first person, being the fan of modernism that I am. I'm sure the end result is terrible, no? If it's not, why not tell me. If it is, please, absolutely tell me so I can bury my head in shame and try to not be a terrible writer. Expect more of this screwing around with POV, though. P.S., I know I overuse italics. Deal with it.


	2. Mabel

Chapter One: _MABEL_

YoustupididiotdumbassfatheadloseranfaryshittyFucki ngBROTHER! Oh god. I just said that. No, no. I thought it. There's nothing wrong with that, right? Yes, yes, there is something very wrong with that! At least I didn't curse out lou-

"What the fuck!" ...shit! Godammit, it doesn't matter. "Did you just curse at me?" Uh, yeah, well; "Yes! Yes I did! Do you want me to do it fucking again!?" don't look at me like that... "You're not even putting the f word in the right place!" What does he know? OK. A lot. He cursed more than I ever did or probably will, at least if I don't make this a habit; he better not let this turn into a habit.

"Mabel, just leave me alone." The hell? "Why should I! You're acting like some stupid teenager." I realize that sounds... "We ARE teenagers! …Not that anybody would ever look at you and think it..."

Oh, _hell _no.

"And what's that supposed to mean? I'm not the one who ran off to art school in freaking Washington even when mom and dad wanted you to-" STOP interrupting m- "I don't want to go to Stanford! And what I'm doing is serious!" Pshhhhh. "You make. CARTOONS!"

Oh great, that chin thing he does when he's... "You shut the hell up! That's what I love! That's me! What the hell are you doing, huh Mabel? You're an intern at some second rate start up software company!" Stop it! "And what's wrong with that?" That'll... "You don't even know what a terabyte is!" ...not show him. Dammit. OK, regroup. "Do too." Hah! "Do not." Wait... "Do too." Not "Do not." this "Do too." again. "Do not." Crud. "Do too." Are we done? No, he's gonna..."Fine then! What is it?"

Ok, lets see... "It's a, uh... thing… thing about earth...?" Terra firma? "No! It's a large file size! For instance, I have a 2 terabyte hard drive..." Blah blah blah. "I knew that." Lying is ok in some situations. "No, no you didn't! I just had to explain it to you; that means you don't know it!"

…

"Shut up!" Yeah... "Only if you can!" Is that a dare? "Fine!" Challenge accepted. "Fine!". Now just turn around, and he'll realize he's being a dummy. Right? Dipper. Dippppppppeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

This is stupid. Silent treatments don't work they never do you nimrodfuckshit NO. Don't. Curse. Is he acting like this because he's thinking with his... Oh god. Oh god. Brain shutdown no gross no EW. He is your brother! Do not ever let that come into your brainOhGOD I said 'come' its already happening I'm a pervert he's turned me into a pervert they were right I should've joined a convent if I did that none of this would've happened now everybody's going to know me as that cray cray bitch who thinks about her brother's SHIT that beetle is huge! This must be documented; phone now. Haha! I love sliding it. Left right left right leftright left righttttttttttttttt- It's been two minutes!? Screw this!

"Say something." He still isn't turning to me. Is he frozen? "I thought we were giving the silent treatment. Emphasis on silent." No, just a jerk. Alright. "Ok, well, quiet time's over!" Yet we're still being quiet... fine then. "I just want to know what's wrong, Dipper. That's it." C'mon. Look at me. Do it. Do ittttttttttt.

Yes! Finally! Now I can give him the eyes. "Don't do that". Do what?

"Listen, if you want to know what happened


	3. Dipper (P1?)

Chapter 2: Dipper (1)

_KORE WA MUDO, AMAI MUDO. DARE KA_Yes. OK! I admit it, this is great. But how the hell am I supposed to practice my characterNO! the human hand does not look like that! Dammit! "Could you please turn that down?" ...why are you looking at me like that? "Thanks." He's still looking at me like that. "No problem." that's the first word he's said all day all he does is look at me like that. doesnt he have to study too? shouldnt he be writing a script or something? or "I thought you were going to continue working on your character designs?" Oh. Yeah. Ok. ok ok ok. just curve a bit no the finger shouldnt be that big and why are her eyes so bulgy? maybe she should have bigger... no dont do that its exploitation. but what ifRINGAH!RINGdont answerRINGseriously don't. just studRING "Would you get that?" since you seem to be doing everything for me today "Yeah." ok ok so just erase that and itll "It's for you." WHY? WHO COULD POSSIBLY BE CALLING AT THIS TIMEIHAVEFINALSTHISIS oh "Hi Mabel." It's really good to hear your agaWendy? "No. What about her?" thats not a bad idea maybe i should callTHEFUCK! "SHE WHAT!?" no no no no no this cant be happening not possible not real I THOUGHT I STILL HAD TIME! "When!?" WHAT! "THREE MONTHS!?" she cant get married not right now and who to? oh god dont be robbie dont be robbie dont be robbie "Is it Robbie?" dont be robbie dont be robbie dont be robbieOHTHANKGOD. wait. who is it then? "What's his name?" who spells Alex with a k? "Is he from here?" Ukrainian? Does he even speak englishoh ok. "Did Mom or Dad get me bus or plane ticket to go back?" No, of course not. "I don't have the money to pay for it myself, Mabel!" calm down? tell me to calm down? You've got a job! You're not going to college like me! "You know what? I'll just drive, OK?" no not drive from seattle drive from ELLENSBURG which is WHERE I GO TO SCHOOL DO YOU LISTEN? "Yeah, alright. Goodbye." yes yes " I love you too." click. "Well." what the hell am i supposed to do now? i was waiting for her i mean not that i didnt want to with other girls its just i mean c'mon it's Wendy. and look at him. why does he still have that look on his face even when hes studying hmm maybe "So. What are you doing three months from now?"

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

"There aren't title cards in real life, Dipper." dont interrupt me "Shut up". and dont make that face "Pfffffffffff."

"Well, that's it." i'm boned. "Does it still work?" that's a good question. "Last time I checked." which was 6 months ago. "How old-" ancient "1987". jesus christ, look at it. there's no way this can make it 315 miles from 90 to 5 all the way to Oregon. "Well, get in." Don't look at me like that just get in. That's better. "Buckle up." good man. alright. please start please start please start please start please fuck. "Urghh!" dont look at me like im crazy YOU try starting this piece of junk! dammit, cmon. cmon cmon CMON! "UGH!" ow! Why is the dashboard so hard!? shouldnt it be brittle after 30 years? crap, I think I know what were gonna have to do and i dont think hes gonna like it. "Listen, Teshi. I need you to do me a favor." please say yes please say "Sure. What do you need me to do?" whew "OK, so, I need for you to get out. And I need you to push hard. The minute the car starts going, run and get back in your seat before it gets too fast." im so sorry thats horrible "Alright." jesus your braver than I thought. ok then, wait till hes back wait till... there he is. lets try again, shall we? ...start! shit. start!. crap. start! fuYES! "RUN!" go faster before it does cmoncmonthere you go! "Are you ok?" seriously, dude, most people wouldnt have done that. "Yeah. Do you know if we'll be able to stop and get coffee?" dammit i didnt think about that "Well, I assume that after we drive it for a while it'll be able to idle later." thats certainly wishful thinking. "Alright Man. Well uh, when we get some, I'll pay. You'll need it." is he serious? he barely has any money. "Are you sure?" i dont get why youre so nice to me "Yeah, it's fine." ...but its refreshing.

Allow me to interject.

One might think that from this set up, Dipper regaled tales of gleeful shenanigans, no doubt involving stalled cars in the middle of nowhere Northwest. And it's true, he had the desire to do so, as the reality was far more achingly mundane; empty roads, too much snow, and not enough words.

But Dipper was determined, and so he enchanted (read: bored) Mabel (to tears) with one too many overly long descriptions of the beauty of the surrounding scenery, and with irrelevant tales of purported whimsy, but which typically entailed that time he stepped in a very large wad of gum at a gas station, or when he saw a truck driver attempting to discreetly go into the truckstop bathroom with another man.

Which is precisely why I decided to butt in here and save you of those stories, instead giving you a better idea of this time period for Dipper and his companion, though most likely tinged with my own, if far more realistic ramblings.

The air was full of bite, and the lack of sufficient heating within the vintage vehicle left the two boys to seek cover under their hefty blankets. This was particularly problematic for Dipper, as the end of the blanket would become caught in the rusted brakes, resulting in a number of incidences which could've ended in them becoming mere red smears on interstate 5 and backing up traffic for several miles, something which would then lead to numerous missed business meetings, hot dates, and hair appointments, and thus, by default, a significant amount of road rage unsympathetic to the finals-stressed art students now being scraped up by the Oregon Highway Safety Patrol.

Of course, none of that happened. But with such occasions as this, it's difficult to avoid at least entertaining embellishment, as Dipper has already proven. Nevertheless, the thought of such a situation, which flew through their brains at every overly loud automotive creak and split second brake-blanket tangle, was enough to ensure a paranoia lasting for 315 miles.

Because of this, Dipper refused to take his eyes off the road, even to take a sip of coffee, which would always be near frozen when he finally got to drinking it. And while his eyes were fixed on the road, Teshi's - real name, Nathaniel Teshigahara, why Dipper hasn't said so is beyond me - were consistently locked on Dipper's now grown face, with its mildly manly attempt at stubble, something which Teshi imitated, and frankly, did a better job at. Poor kid, still trying in vain to be a man.

Now, Teshi was, as his first name suggests, only half Japanese. His father was from Nagano, and a relative of some filmmaker and flower artist I can't be bothered to look up. Meanwhile, his mother was from Carnation and was unequivocally white, though at least with light brown hair and green eyes, rather than a more glaring blonde and blue combination. This resulted in him

You know what? I'm just going to skip that shit. This is not his story, after all. At least not all of it. What does he look like, in detail? Figure it out yourself. I'm on a schedule.

Although a trip of only a day and a half, it felt eternal. 20 questions was attempted multiple times, but only proceeded to ensure a torturous experience for both parties. Typically, silence overtook them - not for lack of friendship, but from a complete preoccupation with their own single-minded agendas. The only noise which was overtly permitted was that of the Japanese Rock CDs Teshi had acquired while staying with his relatives in Japan. Dipper had grown quite fond of these CDs, despite not understanding a single word, with the exception of 'kawaii', which was due to Mabel having taken up writing Fanfiction as a hobby a couple years back.

At some point past Canyonville, Dipper became aware. Aware of the fact that within a few short miles lay a type of homecoming he never really wished to have. It was then, of course, that Teshi had switched out his own CD's for something of Dipper's. It fit, he thought. I think it did, too, despite it not being my cup of tea.

. . . . . . . shit thats the exit hold on ok safe _Businessmen drink my blood_ ugh why did she decide to have her wedding in march who does that _Like the kids in art school said they would_ i thought it was may or june people did it I mean there's so much mountain snow still i dont even have chains _And I guess I'll just begin again_ at least its pretty it reminds me of last years winter it was really snowy on the drive down i cant believe we found a stream that wasnt frozen over for Stan's ashes _You say can we still be friends_ jesus what would he think of all this he really cared about Wendy and now shes marrying some random guy _If I was scared, I would_ i dont get it i really dont i thought i mean i know its stupid but i thought maybe she and i _And if I was bored, you know I would _ .no. dammit Dipper, it was never going to happen why cant you get that through your thick skull _And if I was yours, but I'm not_ youre awkward and weird and nobody wants you thats why youre still a virgdont even say it dont think it dont _All the kids have always known_ ...but its the truth i am and im beginning to think this is how its always gonna be and that this what im always gonna be alone like this _That the emperor wears no clothes_ i mean has anybody asked me out asked me to do anything no no they havent except that weird girl across the hall but im not that desperate _But they bow down to him anyway _but i mean its not right that im like this right im a 19 year old guy its not normal theres something wrong everybody has to do it _It's better than being alone_ whats wrong with me why cant i do this whole guy thing right its what everybody is expecting from me right _If I was scared, I would_ im letting people down arent i but jesus christ who am i kidding its not going to change at least not now i need to get buff or something _And if I was pure, you know I would _maybe then id be enough maybe then itd be right maybe then id be normal maybe then peple'd like me maybe Wendy maybe then _And if I was yours, but I'm not_. crap the turns right there SWERVE

dont look so scared "The Mystery Shack's just up this hill," if its even still there it was barely standing last year theres probably a family of bears or coyotes living there by now or something _Now you're knocking at my door_ "So just... hang tight and get ready for incline and parking." it occurs to me i didnt really plan that part yet _Saying please come out with us tonight_ "How are you gonna park?" shit hes asking questions think dipper think and stop always looking at me like that i dont understand it and i need to focus _But I would rather be alone_ which by the way i cant to do with the music on. "Can you turn that off?" _Than pretend I feel alrigh_CLICK. thats better now lets see maybe if we parked the car on a hill and aimed it downward so if it needs to go again we can just push it down that sounds right right ok "Alright, here's what we're gonna do." why are you looking at me like that its different than usual dont do th"Are you okay?" what? do I look like? "I'm fine." ok im not a good liar i admit but... "I know this is really stressful for you. If things with family get too weird, I'm here." uh thankswhoaaaa dude ok dont pat me there thats my thigh thats close to other things ok good thank you for stopping and please dont do that again "Uh, thanks." priorities dipper this needs to get up that hill and parked stat alright on the count of three punch it 1 2 3

"Is that why the car's on top of the hill?" seriously, Mabel? "Yes that's why the car's on top of the hill!" why the hell did you interrupt me again "Can I finish?" some time this century preferably "It's boring; all backstory. Get to the juicy stuff! I want some dirt!" is that all you care about "I have no 'dirt', Mabel."

That's a lie.

Mabel, of course, was only hearing the basics - what was said, general events. But she certainly was uninformed in regards of what was thought, and of other's experiences. She was being fed an entirely subjective story, and it was one that Dipper would continue to drone on with until completion.

There was absolutely more to the story than what Dipper was going to say; how he and Mabel arrived to such a literal precipice was a collaborative effort. One which even I took a minor part in, or at least the parts of me that hadn't been scattered.

Which reminds me. Firstly, _of course_ I cared about Wendy. I still do, regardless of her piss poor skills as an employee of The Mystery Shack. Neverthless, I already know the outcome, so he has no need to worry about what I think, as it doesn't matter anyway. Things must play out as they're supposed to. Now, secondly, I'll also note this - that damn stream wasn't my first choice for where some of the ashes should go. They were supposed to be put in a bank vault, so that they could be permanently surrounded by money. Though apparently this was considered 'impractical', 'weird', and possibly 'illegal'.

Pfff. Who cares?


End file.
